do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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