I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
