a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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