he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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