You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
