I feel like abortions should bother me more
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
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