the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
