Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
