You just made me feel so damn special
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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