I must be too annoying 4 u.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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