Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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