and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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