He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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