he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
