you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
