you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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