sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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