Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
