What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
