Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Someone shit on the floor
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
