Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
