a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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