DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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