She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
