The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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