Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
