Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
