yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
