My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
