I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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