Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
