my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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