if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize