She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
