If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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