my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize