I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize