drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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