They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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