Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
