I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
