Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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