Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
