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You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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