Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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