and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
