wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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