wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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