Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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