Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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