Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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