you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
