After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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