wanna go halves on a baby?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
