If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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