You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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