Do vagina's smell?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize