why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
whose parrot is this?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
