legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
