it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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